I Love My Home

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I was reflecting on the today's events. My transportation was late getting to me... thus I was late for work. Nevermore, my angry boss, "DB", could care less. He is carefree, funny, cute, married, and angry. When a customer says something ridiculous (which most things that come out of their mouths are) he waits for them to move away or leave and he spills a few choice words or comments about them. Whenever he is finished with a call he hangs up the phone heavy-handedly (this action is was made me confront him about being angry), and he makes little gestures at the customers if they have said something out-of-order. Now most of DB's behavior is enacted humorously, but I can tell he is frustrated. The slamming of the phone, I believe this is a very serious anger tantrum. But, he is the coolest, sanest boss, I have with my current employer.

I now compare DB to, ES.

ES is about my age, he enjoys passing gas, talking to f'n much, and digging into his naval cavity and then raising his index and middle finger up to his nostrils for a whiff, while at work. He is not organized, he constantly asks questions about stuff he should know or remember, and he is compulsively anal about checking the meds before the transaction of purchase is complete with the patient. But to ES's defense, he's modestly attractive, looks like a doctor, has a sense of humor, and is generous (He took me home twice and offered to buy me lunch. Albeit, DB has taken me home, bought me lunch, soft drinks, and ice-cream).

I now compare ES to, my elder bosses in the other facility.

My elder bosses (whose name I have chosen to withhold, due to what I'm about to say about them) are older than the other two. One is male the other is female. The male boss, is well respected at his facility as well as other facilities. He is knowledgeable of the work he performs. However, he is secretly a make chauvinist, has crossed the border on sexual harassment several times (the women at his facility either don't care or can't recognize it... both have either witnessed as an adolescent or as an adult of this type of behavior at some point in their life. This is per their own admission), and is muy gordo. He can demolish an entire large pizza by himself.

The female is just as physically proportioned as the male. She can not take one step without gasping for air. She was hot as crap in Spring (you know it was in the 60's most days), and she doesn't know how to communicate with people. To her defense, she is a little generous, she gave me a ride home twice.

Who is best? DB, hands down. Who is worst? Unfortunately, ES is, its hard working with someone who is both unorganized and socialized too much.

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I suppose I could create another two paragraphs complaining and venting my frustrations with my job and my thoughtless, insensitive, boring, anti-social co-workers. But what good would that really do? Am I really doing all that I can to make things happen for myself? To be honest, I'm not really sure. I have so many paths that I would like to try out... I enjoyed interviewing famous people... I liked working at the radio station... I sort of liked writing newspaper articles... I really liked acting in my speech class (I read from Quiton Tarantino's Pulp Fiction.... playing as Samual Jackson's role) and Literature and Sexuality (I performed in Aristophanes, "Lysistrata"... I played as Myrrhine).
If I could put off working for a bit, I would take acting classes and then go for it. Did I tell you my brother is a budding actor. He has had small roles in some major... some minor films. I also had a more famous cousin... who was an accomplished actor and musician. The talent definitely runs in the family. My youngest brother is a self taught bassist, my sister can dance, my mom used to be in a local band and she was a model, and my dad was a successful entrepreneur. Ahh... I can't forget my favorite cousin... he is an amazing writer.
So what am I going to do... to make it HAPPEN? Any ideas? I could use your advise on this one... I need it from someone not close to me.
My love life is moving at a snails pace. I was told today that I have an admirer... I know what he looks like... he is not my type. He has a nice demeanor, but I would not be physically attracted to him no time soon. I noticed from this other website that I frequent that all my favorite page.. are of men who favor one another. That means one thing: I AM CONSISTENT IN THE TYPE OF MEN I AM ATTRACTED TO.
I've still been thinking about school... I want to get my PHD before I am 45. That is a long term goal I will actively pursue. I feel like my brain is scattered this eve... I want to change subjects already. LOL... like day I suppose. Mother's Day (albeit mother's day is everyday for my mom) is just a few days away. I've been pondering what I should do for my mum. Dinner, some sort of keepsake and a card? What do you plan on doing for your mum?

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Sup,
I've been meaning to update my blog since last week, but I've been spending more time on my webcam, Myspace and on Blackplanet (a mostly conservative website for "black" people to socialize and network). I've also been spending a nice chunk of my time working. I HATE IT. I don't mind some physical activity at work... sometimes its necessary to get things done. But working as Pharmtech is not for me. I can't be creative... I can't directly help anyone... albeit I did try to counsel this one lady who claimed her bf or husband was going to be the death of her. She also had a punked out lesbian daughter. No, I'm not passing judgment... the 17 year-old told me (sticks out tongue playfully).
Anyway, when I'm not working as a crisis intervention worker, I'm filling new prescriptions and refills, as well as running for the meds. I hate standing on my feet for 8 hours and being bored. Sometimes I may get to sit on a stool. I'm confined to a 3by 18 foot space and I don't like it. I keep thinking how did I get to this place. How can someone who has gone through so much sh!t in their life and strive to be the best end up in my circumstance. How can a family (my own) be so talented, so vibrant, so damn blessed, and still be in our situation. I'm tired of the b.s. I have prayed for things to be better and now I want some action.
I've had patients ask me how long did I have to go to school to become a pharmtech... I keep wondering if they would ask the same question if I wasn't working there. I mean there are like 2-3 other techs working at the same time. The full time cashier does a fraction of the stuff I do, so why didn't they ask her. She was working that store a couple of months before I came on.
Grr, then there is the lone tech... she does awkward sh!t. Everyone talks about her, but I try to be level-headed and open up to her. She is such a b!tch. I speak to her and I barely get a hello. Did I ever mention... I don't like anti-social people. Especially when they make it hard to be nice. That dipsh!t ought to be glad someone was being nice to her. I'm not going to sweat it... she can take her crazy a$$ and keep to herself... she will be one b!tch I won't miss when I quit.
WOW!?! Even to type the word "quit" makes me sick. I've only openly quit a job twice. Thats two times in 13 years. I hate to quit anything!! But I must concede.. this job does not take advantage of my talents. And although it pays more than my last gig, i'm not being paid my worth. I need to be making at least twice the amount I owe in college loans. If I don't have that... I'm not breaking even. If I'm not using my talents... I'm not happy. If I'm not happy, I get depressed and awfully b!tchy. And I'm such a cool person... b!tchy should not even be an adjective to describe any mood I'm in.
Love: Last week I was in Philly to do some volunteer work with a national t.v. station. My g-friend (the one from the love triangle couple) had wanted me to come visit her, but I was volunteering. I did however, meet up with my ex, John. He and his good friend Dev took me to the movies that Sunday. As a matter-of-fact, Dev drove me from Philly to home. I dropped my things off at the crib, then we jetted. I had wanted to see "Perfect Stranger" The H. Berry and B. Willis flick. Ultimately, we saw GrindHouse. A Terantino movie (I forgot the other producer's name). The movie was very, very, very different (it has a wild a$$ theme) and it was ultra long. Would I see it again? At home.
When I told my friend that I had seen my ex, she wanted to know if I had an encounter with him. WOW, I knew she was going to ask, but damn, she didn't have to get jealous about it. Nothing happened though. We played arcade games for an hour (the movie started at 9pm), I got a massage from Dev while playing a racing game. To-Be-Continued.

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First, do you like the color of my blog? It was the dark and drab color, I thought it would be fitting to switch things up since I hadn't changed much since I began my blog (two years in November by the way).
I am back to work... limited hours of course, I am going to make a formal complaint against this tyranny (did I use that word out of context? I can be such an air-head sometimes). I am supposed to work later this afternoon... if all goes well, I will be there.


Last night/early this morning, I spoke to Adam, I was not happy with him. Day before yesterday, I spoke to him and he said he would call me back. He never did. Yesterday he called me for like two minutes and then told me he would call me in one minute... I didn't speak to him until several hours later. I was a little teed... you start off full of steam and then just back off. I had feared we had been talking to one another way too much (everyday for hours at a time).


I left him a message saying I wasn't in the mood and that I was "done". I was ready to throw in the towel... I don't have time to play relationship games... especially given the circumstances in which I met him. When he finally called me back last night/early this morning... he kept asking me what was wrong. All I said was, "actions speak louder than words."
You see Adam keeps telling me how cool I am and that it was so unexpected for him to run into a person like me and that he was glad he had. He asked me what did I mean by that phrase and I told him to think about it. At the very same moment, I was practically doubled over in abdominal pain. I told him to hold on... I made a B-line for the bathroom.

When I returned to the phone, I reminded him that early on in our telephone venture, I told him that when I am in a relationship (although we are not in one) that I like to have my time and that I want consistency. He told me to say no more because while I had him hold he took the time to think about putting the shoe on the other foot and he admitted he would feel awkward if I had done the same to him. He then apologized for being insensitive.


What happened next was unexpected... he confessed that he was falling for me. At first we was like if we continue the way we are going, I can see this turning into love... then he stopped he told me he didn't want to startle me. I told him to say what he wants to say, that I wasn't going to laugh or be judgmental... I would just listen. Thats when he said he was falling for me. He really really likes my personality and he thought I was cute.
I told him about my fears... although he does not fit the "type" of guy I go for... I've put my relationship woes in Gods hands to work out and what's going to happen, is going to happen. I also told him that I am concerned about where things would leave us, if we met face to face and we did not feel the same way prior to us meeting. He told me regardless of whatever, he would want to be my friend.

We then got to talking about some other personal issues... like homelessness, struggles, goals, and the future. Afterward he told me thank you for opening up to him.
I actually felt better after our talk because before then, I was standoffish and he could tell. Ahh in other love life news...

I received an email from John telling me to call him. That was about 4-5 days ago. I finally called him last night, but all I got was the answering service. I'm not sure what to do about him.

What I do know is I am empowering myself to be a better person and to readying myself for all the blessings God is about to bestow upon me. I am thankful and I give thanks every day of my life. With each day I am blessed to walk this earth... comes new hope of living happily and at peace.

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Sup,
As promised here is a pic of my adorable new pissing/shitting machine...Jack Dollar. Despite my insinuation that Jack enjoys releaving himself more times than I care to count. He is truly a bundle of joy and in the little time he has been in his new home, he has brought me a great deal of joy.
At this moment i'm getting ready to take him to his first vet visit. He looked utterly sad when I put him in stylish carrying bag. Its the same one I took him home in... hopefully he wasn't thinking he was going back to the pet shop.
Anyway, on the flip side of being joyful of my new addition, I have to figure out the best way to housebreak him. He has a tendency to bark whenever I leave his sight. I've taken him for his walks and he'd rather explore than releive himself. This results in me having to keep a sharp eye on his whereabouts.
He gets so that he will bark in the morning, this is a clear indication to me that he has to potty, I have taken him in the bathroom and goes right to business. I wish he was that easy outside. Oops time to go to the vet.

ciao

Tag:
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